Keys to a Successful Retirement: Staying Happy, Active, and Productive in Your Retired Years by Fritz Gilbert

Author:Fritz Gilbert [Gilbert, Fritz]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Business & Economics, Personal Finance, Retirement Planning, Health & Fitness, Healthy Living, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Happiness
ISBN: 9781646113392
Google: _oDjxQEACAAJ
Publisher: ROCKRIDGE Press
Published: 2020-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

YRETIREMENT TIP 14Z

Realize that the change resulting from retirement is as significant for a stay-at-home spouse or partner as it is for the one leaving the workplace. Take time prior to retirement to talk about your mutual expectations.

Earlier in this chapter, I promised I’d provide a few tips in this section for things to consider as you make the adjustment to more “together” time postretirement. While far from complete, the following list will give you some things to think about. I encourage you to read the list with your spouse or partner and decide on a few ground rules for your transition together.

TALK (A LOT). Make it a practice to carve out time to talk about how the transition is going. Go out for a cup of coffee together, and put your phones down. Listen twice as hard as you normally do, and repeat what you think you heard your spouse or partner say. Find a way to continue to carve out time as your retirement evolves. Sometimes, my wife and I simply sit in our living room in chairs facing each other, put down our phones, make eye contact, and talk.

ALONE VERSUS TOGETHER TIME. Discuss how much time you’d like to have together versus how much time you’d each like to have to pursue individual interests. Work together to identify things that each of you are passionate about, and be intentional in pursuing meaningful activities together and individually.

SET BOUNDARIES. Agree in advance that it’s okay to raise a flag and let your spouse or partner know when you feel they’re stepping on your turf. Share how the “intrusion” made you feel, and work together to learn the issues that are sensitive to the other person.

THE 80 PERCENT RULE. I remember when we were newlyweds and someone gave me a piece of advice. The advice was something to the effect that you should feel like you’re sacrificing in 80 percent of situations. If both of you feel this way, the reality is you’re both probably yielding about 50 percent of the time. If you don’t feel you’re giving in the majority of the time, you should examine whether you’re being too selfish in the relationship. That guidance stuck with me, so I decided to include it for your consideration here.

DATE NIGHTS. Carve out a night every week or two to go on a date. Put them on your calendar for the next year. Use the time to focus on the positive attributes of your relationship. Like many things, you’ll notice more of the things you focus on. Increase your focus on the positive, and decrease your focus on the negative.

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